One of the first things you learn when dealing with unusual sexualities is not to judge how other people enjoy their pleasures; if it is consensual and it doesn’t cause distress to anyone, to each their own. This notwithstanding, some erotic practices are admittedly harder to understand and accept than others. Among them, public exposure is one of the more baffling.
We are not talking about a little exhibitionism here, but of a whole different level of “play”: true exposure enthusiasts not only make their uncensored sex acts public on the Internet and elsewhere, but make a point of broadcasting their identities and personal information in the deliberate effort of cultivating a universal notoriety as “sluts”, willingly destroying their chances of going back to tranquil anonymity forever. This is also different from choosing a career as an adult performer, for this is a largely non-commercial field and true identities, home addresses and personal details are used.
While not exactly a popular phenomenon, public exposure is a growing kink with more and more cases appearing online and then often resonating on legacy media – sometimes with definitely ill results. Thinking of the most famous Italian cases, for example, I can recall the neverending saga of Anna Ciriani a.k.a. MadameWeb, a teacher who got illegally fired and later reintegrated – but only for adult classes – while staunchly defending her right to live her life however she pleases when off the clock. More recently there was the tragic case of Tiziana Cantone, who committed suicide due to the intense harassment following her unplanned outing.
Truth to be told, most of the times extreme exhibitionism appears to be rather harmless, especially when approached somewhat purposefully. Remaining in Italy, the Paola & Marco couple frame their pastime as a progressive social movement; others, like KatiaPerv, started out for the sheer thrill of it claiming she «held a useless psychology degree but wanted to destroy her reputation» and then turned it into a money-making business morphing into a porn performer, and others still like Lexo monetized their passion from the start while clinging to a modicum of face anonymity.
Still, it clearly takes a huge gall to relinquish one’s privacy and face the often hostile public judgment for… what, exactly? A fleeting kinky thrill?
Over the years, I tried to dig deeper into the phenomenon by asking some of its most prominent heralds to be interviewed – and I always fell short of success. Every time, the very same persons who couldn’t stop talking about their need for exposure balked as soon as I sent them my questions. They repeatedly got cold feet when it came to meeting, or they simply offered such terse, monosyllabic answers to be useless for publication. Then, a few weeks ago, I stumbled on a quite interesting profile on a major kinky social network.
Veronica from Vancouver, also going by the moniker of slaveofDave, wore her exhibitionism as a badge and had 4,932 candid photos and 85 videos of herself in every conceivable situation to prove it. She seemed articulate, well-read and fun, so I reached out to see whether this finally was the time I could extract some insights from the proverbial horse’s mouth. Here is our email conversation, unedited in her old-school lowercasing anything referring to herself, and vice-versa.
Ayzad – Hello, and thank you for agreeing to this interview. Shall we start with a brief introduction?
Veronica – i am a life-long submissive, masochist and exhibitionist, former stripper and whore, and currently an unequivocally owned sex-slave. i no longer have a name. Men can call me whatever They like.
In your Fetlife profile you mention your ‘chequered sexual past’, leading up to your current status of owned slave. Would you walk me trough it, and through the reasoning or circumstances marking each development?
Goodness! That’s a bit of long story. My mother was herself a sex-trade worker (she always referred to herself as a ‘hooker’ – it always sounded better when she said it in her faded Bavarian accent). Momma tried to raise me herself but she had her own demons to deal with. i ended up being pretty severely sexually abused by our parish priest.
In my mid-teens, my mother disappeared. i ended up living with my ‘Uncle’ Chester (actually the twin brother of my mom’s late pimp). i had already become somewhat promiscuous and Chester was happy to monetize that promiscuity. He put me to work at his friend’s strip bar and whore house in order to pay off his shockingly large tab.
After a few years of dancing and servicing the customers there, my mom was eventually declared legally dead and i received a small settlement from her life insurance company. i used that money to move myself and one of the other dancers to Vancouver. we rented a basement suite, i went to university, she got work as a stripper, and we both got part-time jobs at a massage parlour as ‘rub & tug’ girls.
After i graduated, we both received an offer to work at a BDSM themed night club and brothel in Prague. Unfortunately, i was cast against type as a dominatrix. i never managed to settle into that role. Upon my return to Canada, i worked as an out-call girl in Vancouver. i had been hired to orally service all the attendees of a bachelor party and Master was at the party. As soon as i crawled between His Legs, i just knew.
May I ask you what degree it was, and why did you not pursue a line of work more in line with your studies?
i earned a BA in English Literature and had started graduate school in the same field when my friend and i were offered work in the Czech Republic. To be honest, i dropped out of my Masters program because the idea of working in a BDSM themed brothel made so very, very wet.
Thank you for your openness, which incidentally is the very thing that inspired this interview. More specifically, I was struck by the delight you seem to take in exposing yourself and your kinks as publicly as possible. Can you tell me about that?
Most of my sexual life has been at semi-public; from spending all day kneeling topless in the Boys’ room in high school through years of working as a stripper, whore, and small time porn performer to my posting online my life as a slave-girl. It is literally all i have ever known.
Public exposure fetishism intrigues me for how controversial it is – not only on a social level, and we’ll get to that momentarily, but even with oneself. As a matter of fact, you are the first online exhibitionist who accepted to be featured on my website. In your opinion, why somebody will put their ID online for everyone to see next to their extremely pornographic pictures, but then get cold feet when it comes to a little friendly talk? Also: were or are you conflicted in embracing exposure like you do?
i wasn’t conflicted at all. i can’t help but wonder if those others were simply uncomfortable speaking about their sexual life; the classic ‘dancing about architecture’ problem. Or it may be that, no matter how exhibitionistic one’s sexual life is, it is often still in one sense private in that it is unintegrated into the rest of one’s life.
And what do you think of the “websluts” phenomenon of people just going for deliberate, permanent and willingly degrading exposure? While limited and rather new, it does have dozens of enthusiasts, with more and more appearing online. Is it a fad, or something more?
Inflicting humiliation, or being humiliated, are fundamental to the sexuality of many individuals. The internet is just a current medium of such humiliation.
What kind of effects becoming known for your erotic escapades and for the possibly longest kink list I have ever seen had on your personal life? I suppose your extreme coming out might have not agreed with everyone’s stance on social mores…
i am not really that well known. The rare occasions that has happened, it has typically been received with indifference.
…by the way, do you think that exposing yourself for sheer fun and not as a job, like an adult actor does, influences the way people see and judge you?
i am not sure that most people would be that interested in me to find out if i did this for money or not., That said, i have assumed my whole life that everyone perceives me only as a slut and/or whore (but i am always willing to be convinced otherwise).
Which brings me to my next question: “other” people are one thing, but how does your lifestyle impact your relationships with your family or other especially close persons? Also, I am pretty curious about your take on alternative lifestyles and raising kids, both in your own case and in general.
i am afraid that the only relative i have ever know was my (presumably) late mother. Nor have i ever had many friends. Certainly, the other girl that moved to Vancouver and then Prague with me was a friend, my very first, but she has not spoken to me in years. The girl i currently share my cage with and i are becoming close and i hope to one day be able to call her friend. As You can see, someone who has been isolated as myself is in no position to answer Your thoughtful question.
I once asked an extreme public exhibitionist, the kind of reactions she gets with her behavior and whether she ever got into troubles for that. I was surprised to learn that, even in a pretty conservative country like Italy, most people don’t even notice or care, or they rather politely express their admiration: troublemakers and patriarchal types tend to be intimidated and silenced by her audacity. What is your experience like on that front?
People can be very cruel to me online but often show little interest in me in real life.
So, where do you see yourself next on your journey into exposure and kink? Is there anywhere to go after this?
i am always open to suggestions.
Oh, one last question! Tell me about how do you see the long-term effects of your current lifestyle. Maybe it’s grey hair speaking, but I was just reminded of a conversation with a very outrageous trans performer who once confided to me that «with time, all of this will fade away and I’ll just blend in with the crowd, an invisible senior». That was before the Internet became our global and forever memory, though. Or does it even matter?
The void awaits both me and my work. As i disappear into the ignored masses of little-old-ladies, my few thousand dirty pictures will be hopelessly buried by ever-growing mountains of online pornography.
…and that was it. Veronica was nice and forthcoming, but not exactly what I had expected. In fact, her particular and troubled life seems to play into the kind-of-debunked stereotype of BDSM raising from trauma – and to think that I had actually hoped for once to move away a bit from my field of expertise altogether! I even thought of not publishing the interview due to its inconclusiveness, but… I do believe in honesty, and the peek at her truly uncommon life story was definitely interesting anyway, isn’t it?
Now the curiosity remains about the phenomenon of extreme exposure in a more general sense. But that’s what the comments area is for! Just let me know your thoughts – and make sure to drop me an email if you are a webslut yourself, and want to talk a bit about what makes you tick!