Judging from yesterday’s stats you really loved the news about cuddling parlors. And considering that this website is about unusual and frequently extreme sex, this says a lot about how perverted you are – you freaks. To rebalance things, today’s topic sits on the very opposite end of the erotic spectrum: what about dinosaur porn?
The picture on the left is the actual cover of a short story currently sold on most digital bookstores. It is just one of the twelve dinosaur romances penned by Mrs. Christie Sims, whose Amazon author profile photo probably cannot be taken as an exact portrait. Her literary specialization lies in interspecies and supernatural porn, or stories about girls ravished by gryphons, demons, trolls, vampires, dragons, werewolves, orcs, centaurs, weretigers and – of course – dinosaurs. Here is a typical synopsis:
Paola was the first born in her family, and by the laws of her country, would receive a free education at the university located in the capital. However, her family decides to send her eldest brother, one year her junior, in her stead. She’s outraged by her father’s decision, but has little choice in the matter. The beautiful, buxom girl must now tend the farm like the rest of her family, feeding the animals, tending the crops, and protecting their land from hungry predators, like foxes, wolves, and the occasional dinosaur. Life is absolutely bland until Paola comes face to face with a velociraptor! She thinks the beast will leap at her and tear her flesh with its powerful claws. However, the creature has more carnal desires that it wishes to fulfill.
Her rather overpriced short stories do have a following, and surprisingly very few of them are zoophiles. The mostly female readership is actually captivated by the power imbalance between the protagonist and the unstoppable, ferocious monsters after her. Half of the fascination lies in the stereotypical rape fantasy: to be overpowered by a force so brutal that forsaking any moral, decency or inhibition becomes perfectly justifiable, and the victim can allow herself to savor the forbidden fruit. Under this light, it is no wonder that according to a 2001 survey, 90% of all the media depiction of rape is concentrated in “romance” novels, and 48% of them contain at least one sexual abuse scene. But this is just half of the appeal.
The rest of it comes from an altogether different aspect, in which even the most powerful of beings cannot contain his lust for the protagonist. She –and the reader – literally is the most prized woman in the universe. This is, by the way, the reason no Harlequin story has an accountant or a clerk as the male lead: the love of a normal man is so common to be worthless to the reader. Hence, orcs and dinosaurs. There is in fact a vast production of interspecies porn, both official (remember Twilight?) and fan-written. The part that gets to the actual (or virtual) shelves is a minority, while lots of novel-length works are available online for free. Some of them are so bizarre that stuff like T-rex troubles pales by comparison. What about Luna Loupe’s Someone to cuttle? Here’s the official description:
Businessman Paul is on a beachside vacation to unwind and enjoy the sun, the sand and the surf – sometimes from below the waves. While scuba diving, he encounters a trio of cuttlefish that turn out to be much more than they seem: they’re shapeshifters, and they want Paul for their own! Warning: 18+ only! Contains partial shifting, hot gay sex, and a cuttlefish shifter gangbang!
Er… ok. I guess you won’t be too fazed now to learn that yes, there also is actual live-action pterodactyl porn. To wit:
