I ended up in a queue with L’Omino, who among his many artistic endeavors also wrote a book called Tinder’s List, about his dating misadventures. While talking, I recalled a very brief chapter I really loved – and that he graciously authorized me to translate and republish here.
After my so many rants about unusual sexualities it might look a bit out of place… but are we really sure?

Can you imagine a world where if you prefer pasta you are not supposed to feel peckish for risotto, while if you are a rice fan instead there is no way you can like carbonara?
Above all, a world where you for one feel the need to specify to everybody what you prefer eating, not only when you are sitting at the table.

 

A life where, even if it’s summer and you’d kill for a rice salad, you make do with a cold pasta with cherry tomatos and cubed mozzarella… which is still socially acceptable.
Where it is given as a fact that everybody prefer pasta by default (because, let’s say it aloud, there’s no comparison) and therefore, if you aren’t crazy about spaghetti, you feel forced to behave in a certain way – maybe closeting yourself and making you only frequent celiacs because, yeah… they understand you, and among them you can finally be yourself. As if “yourself” only was what you eat.

 

So what about those fellas who snarf down a nice huge bowl of amatriciana because «Oh, I’m from Rome; how can you imagine me eating that Chinese stuff???» And then, when nobody is looking, they dream of a black rice.
So what about those VIPs, who at a certain point in their careers, take heart and declare to the world: «SO BE IT, I LIKE MILANESE RISOTTO! For so many years I reluctantly ate rigatoni, but now I can say it: HOORAY FOR RICE AND HUZZAH FOR SAFFRON!»

 

So let’s go wild with the colorful RICE PRIDE, where every type of risotto parade with outrageous and improbable condiments… From Asparagus&Shrimps to Strawberries, up to the definitely excessive and extravagant Gualtiero Marchesi recipe featuring gold foil.
And the opposing PASTA DAY, because «WE’RE ITALIANS, AND TOMATO SAUCE SPAGHETTI ARE OUR ROOTS».

 

But, more importantly: be careful! Because if you just dare to write even one half of a sentence about rice having great nutritional value, even if everybody know that you are a fettuccine eater, someone will instill the doubt that you might be an occasional pilaf fiend… and woe be it!!! BECAUSE YOU ARE A PROUD SPAGHETTI EATER!

 

Luckily, we don’t live in such a world.