This coming Sunday sees another appointment with Sadistique, the BDSM party I organize each month in Milano. Looking at the calendar I noticed that this will be the 120^th edition, yet just like for the very first one I am already receiving desperate messages from those who still can’t stomach the requirement of a proper dress code. Some can’t see the point, others cannot imagine what to wear, others still fruitlessly plead for an exemption, and a few piqued ones state that «they don’t want to dress differently than usual, so they won’t be there» (Spoiler: nobody will miss them).
Anyway, this looked like the right time to clear things up, in case you ever need to attend such an event. First things first: requiring a dress code isn’t a cruel vexation, but the most normal thing in the world. Don’t you believe me? Try going to work dressed as Peppa Pig, then tell me how it went. If just any occasion has its appropriate attire, it is logical that a BDSM party wants you to dress for it. More specifically, having a dress code contributes to create an ambiance and a mind space entirely separated from the daily grind, helping the guests to better enjoy the event.

The second reason the people who organize these things require a special look is just as simple. By doing so, all those voyeurs and those slimy characters who tend to infiltrate parties in the hope of finally scoring, at least for once, remain outside. My experience tells me that they avoid any effort of making themselves agreeable as much as Dracula flees the sunlight. Rather than spending five minutes thinking what to wear, they (luckily) prefer to stay home.
This being said, only one problem remains: how to select a proper dress code? Oddly enough, I happen to have the answer right here. It always was on the Sadistique website, but I am happily copying it below. Now if you always wanted to go to a BDSM event you haven’t any more excuse not to…

Fetish isn’t just stiletto heels and latex dresses: of course they are great, but there are also many other ways to express your uniqueness and sensuality through your look. You just have to dare, flaunt and reject omologation. Some perfect ideas for the party are: Fetish, Bdsm, Leather, Latex, Uniform, Goth, Dark, Sexy, Zentai, Bizarre. Here are a few hints to create a perfect dress code:
Avoid ordinary clothes  Sadistique is a special event requiring a special look fit for the theme of the party. Free your fantasy and leave your everyday clothes to let your true personality through!
Go for unusual materials  Latex, leather, Pvc, metal… why limit yourself to everyday textiles when there are so many other opportunities to let your sensuality shine?
Elegance is paramount  You can be sexy, intriguing and even obscene without looking shabby. In grave emergencies, try to fetishize a great gala dress… Slovenliness will be bounced!
Don’t be shy  Sadistique is a BDSM and fetish party: showing a little more skin won’t scandalize anyone.
Underwear and lingerie are not fetish  Undressing to common underwear is not an accepted dress code (no, not even if it is black).
There are uniforms and uniforms  Are you aiming for a military or uniform look? No problem… but it must be a fetish uniform. If everyone used a common camo suit or uniform we’d look like a boot camp, not an erotic party!
Mind the details  You don’t need to smother yourself with latex to get a great dress code: sometimes a single detail can make the whole look.
This is not a masked ball  Invent your own character with an original, exciting, adorable, unique, sensual look… But don’t mistake Sadistique for a masked ball!
Excuses are useless  Rules are there to be respected by everyone. Making up excuses won’t get you in, and especially: “I am here by chance, I live far from here and I had no dress code with me” “But I’m wearing black” and “Other parties let me in like this” “You can make an exception just for me” and “But this was ok enough for you in the past” “I’m friends with the organization / the owner of the place” “I just want to peek in a little to see if my friend is already in”