Certain “extreme” erotic games are actually within everyone’s reach, as in the case of wax play (simply put, stimulating passion using hot wax, usually from a candle). It all depends on knowing how to prevent the most common accidents… and knowing one trick so you don’t have to call the plumber the next morning. Here are the secrets of BDSM experts.
BDSM for everyone
According to sexology, one in ten people harbors BDSM fantasies but only slightly more than half of the enthusiasts put them into practice. Sometimes the reason is simply that it is not necessary to fulfill all of one’s erotic dreams to be happy; more often, however, it’s about fear. Those games can be about commands and devotion, but usually they also involve sensations that can become very intense – and it’s not a given that everyone would enjoy experiencing even a little (or a lot of) pain.
Wax play however can be a good way to experience the atmospheres of BDSM without risking anything. A few drops of wax may sting a little at first, but after half a second they leave only a pleasant warmth on the skin: this can’t really scare anyone, it’s very sensual, and feeling at the mercy of your partner is pretty sexy. That is, if you don’t make colossal mistakes…
Choosing the right material
Choosing the right candles is essential if you want to try wax play. There are indeed different types of wax, each of which melts and drips at different temperatures, ranging from «hmm… nice!» to «aaaargh!». Beeswax, for example, is absolutely out because it has a very high melting point and would cause serious burns. The same goes for scented candles (aromatic oils often raise the melting temperature) and especially those with a colored layer on the outside that looks like plastic… because it is, and it would have an awful branding effect.
The ideal type of candle for these games is also the most common one, paraffin candles – like the white ones you can find at the supermarket – whose only flaw is to be ugly-looking. Most of Ikea’s colored candles are a convenient alternative, since they melt at a rather comfortable temperature. When in doubt, before buying play candles, hold them between your fingers for a moment: the “greasier” they feel on your fingers, the better – because it means they have a very low melting point. Some sex shops also sell specific massage candles, which not only melt almost at room temperature, but also offer great scents.
Another very important thing to do before playing is to do a test on yourself. Take heart, light the candle and let a drop fall on the inside of your forearm and – if it doesn’t hurt too much – the inside of your elbow, where the skin is more sensitive. Then wait a couple of minutes and remove the hardened wax: if it hasn’t left any marks, you’ll know how you are going spend the evening! And speaking of dripping, here are two key instructions. First: be careful not to let pieces of burnt wick fall on your body, as they’d be much hotter than the wax itself. Second: before moving onto the body, make sure to pour away somewhere any liquid wax pooled close to the flame (and therefore boiling). Afterwards, just keeping the candle tilted will let the drops fall as soon as they melt, making them warm but not dangerous.
Wax on, wax off
Some other tricks from expert wax players may make the difference between a super sexy experience and a lot of loud swearing. Remember, for example, to only drip the wax on depilated areas (but not too recently, otherwise the skin could be too sensitive), to avoid a painful epilation when you remove it! It’s also advisable to lay down a painter’s plastic sheet – or a vinyl bedspread, if you’re serious – under the recipient person, so you’ll be sure not to ruin the sheets or anything else, and neither to spend hours cleaning the floor afterwards.
If you want to make the sensations more intense, you can vary the dripping height (the closer you are, the hotter the drops are) or alternate the wax with a little ice cubes massage. Some interesting experiences include trying out how different body parts are differently sensitive; try the back, the palm of the hand, the tongue – where you don’t actually feel much, yet it requires a lot of mutual trust – and of course the nipples and genitals, if you like strong sensations. Dripping wax on the anus, however, it’s not advisable because such intense heat can promote the onset of hemorrhoids.
Masterstrokes can involve leaving your thumb imprint like a brand in the freshly poured wax on your partner’s body, or using candles of various colors to draw on the skin and create – with a little patience – true works of art.
The game continues even when it comes time to remove the cold wax, while still on the plastic sheet: try doing it with a blunt knife, like a butterknife, to create a sense of faux danger. A very sensual possibility is to use a wooden paper cutter, which is sharp enough but feels warmer. The most important thing, however, is to never scrape away the wax in the shower or bathtub: it might seem like the most logical choice, but any wax that ends up in the drain solidifies in the pipes, clogging them – and forcing you to call the plumber for a very expensive intervention.
