Talking about ‘exhibitionism’ there is a risk – as with many other sex-related things – of serious misunderstandings. One word actually refers to both a crime and a potentially very fun erotic game that has nothing to do with it… or almost nothing. Let’s see why.
We all know the stereotype – and perhaps we have even encountered it in person. You’re minding your own business, and suddenly someone appears with a smug look on their face, flaunting off their genitals. In the past this would have shocked us; much less so today, but in any case it is an unpleasant and rather sad experience. After all, one must be very lonely to perform such an act… and what did that person expect to achieve? Compliments? An offer to fuck on the spot? Fear?
According to psychology, the answer is “all of the three,” or almost. What matters to that type of exhibitionist is the pleasure of invading the daily lives of other people: sort of “raping their privacy”, in a sense. The reaction isn’t really important as long as there is one; the worst thing you can do to such a fellow is to ignore them, as that deprives them of even the last tiny power they have left.
However, we are not particularly interested in cartoon exhibitionists, except to remember that performing “obscene acts” in front of non-consenting individuals is an actual crime, punishable by hefty fines and able to get you into serious trouble with the law. What is much more intriguing is another type of erotic exhibitionism…
The eroticism of exhibition
A very different way of displaying one’s body and sexuality is exhibitionism as a sensual game. After all, we all partake a little in it when we flirt teasing someone we like: by showing a bit more skin, or “accidentally” revealing a suggestive detail of lingerie, or even moving more sensually than usual – perhaps while dancing or even during mundane daily activities. And is there anyone who has never taken advantage of all the allusions in a simple gesture like running their tongue over their lips? The secret of exhibition games lies precisely in the awareness of offering an arousing spectacle, capable of stimulating all kinds of fantasies. But for whom?
The first thought naturally goes to actual or potential partners, but there is more. You don’t need to be too narcissistic, for example, to add a bit of a porn show to your solitary masturbations. And if you find it cringey to think of such a scene, you will see that undressing and touching yourself in front of a large mirror will change your mind. The point is not to “be beautiful”, but to enjoy the game of becoming both the protagonist and the director of an unusual performance. You are the perfect person to always turn your gaze in the right places while your kinky inner voice suggests new positions, rhythms, and imaginary situations.
In a way, it can even be good practice for when you’ll really want to drive someone else crazy with desire: just like with selfies, knowing your best angles and most attractive expressions can make a difference. But more importantly, getting comfortable with the sensuality of your own body in this way helps overcoming the fear of being judged. Because one thing is true: the only people who are “beautiful like models” are those who can rely on makeup artists, cinematographers, photographers, and abundant photo retouching… or at least on good Instagram filters. To make a real body irresistible, all it takes is to feel comfortable and sexy – and each of us is in our own unique way.
A taste for provocation
Exhibitionism, however, works best in public. Who will notice our provocations? Who will manage to enjoy the mischievous show we have in mind… and in what unpredictable ways can the circumstances affect it?
Still, way before rushing to having sex in the middle of the street, there are a thousand other situations to make the game exciting. How do you feel about going out in your sexiest outfit and enjoying the pleasantly surprised reactions of the people you’ll meet? Perhaps the point is to feel a little embarrassed and offering this spectacle to the person with whom you’ll end up in bed… but who, for now, is just following you from a distance.
Or shall we go shopping? Who knows if you’ll be able to seduce the barista where we’ll have coffee, or arouse impure thoughts in those who catch a glimpse of you as you try something sexy on and forget to fully close the fitting room curtain… Even grocery shopping becomes intriguing if the items you choose are on the lowest (or highest) shelf, and you’re wearing a very short skirt that reveals your tantalizing lingerie.
Another classic is to go dancing with your partner… but stepping onto the dance floor separately and in a very sensual way, knowing that anyone who approaches has no hope of conquering us – or perhaps they do, if we enjoy threesomes or moresomes! In short, the possibilities are numerous even while remaining within completely polite and moderate boundaries.
Exhibition to the max
Finally, there are all those exhibitionistic games where every bit of modesty is forsaken. The simplest is doing it with the window open, allowing the sounds of your passion to intrigue strangers… who might find themselves in the right spot to observe the scene!
The trick is to always choose places where you can only be seen by those with a genuine interest, rather than by an occasional passerby who might get genuinely perturbed. At most, situations where the observation time is so brief to leave doubt whether they actually saw something are also suitable.
An easy possibility could be near a railway: will someone on the next passing train turn their gaze toward us right in those couple of available seconds? Similarly, the back seats of a car allow for equally fleeting experiences (but it may be better to try this while speeding on a highway, to avoid the risk of slow traffic making it too embarrassing!). A true – but very sexy – cliché is playing on a boat deck, far enough from the coast to be seen only by those with a good pair of binoculars. The fun also lies in this: never knowing if someone is really watching us, who they are, how many people…
To avoid the “raincoat maniac” effect, I would not recommend putting on a show in a truly public place – but if the idea seriously intrigues you, there is no shortage of possibilities. If you like slightly rough situations, certain rest stops (you can also find them listed online) are semi-official meeting points for so-called “dogging” lovers – meaning your typical voyeurism of couples making out in cars.
Otherwise, in most private clubs it is not necessary to engage in swinging and you can simply have sex with your partner, knowing that you have a very interested audience around. Just be careful to choose reputable clubs, frequented mostly by couples; the experience might turn more into a bukkake scene otherwise.
And if you don’t feel like risking unpleasant encounters… well, there’s always the internet. Sites like Chatroulette practically exist for this purpose, but you can also experience the thrill of online exhibitionism in a much simpler way – for example, by uploading your hottest photos and videos on temporary sites or dating apps, and deleting them shortly after. Who will be so lucky as to see them?
In short, the world of exhibitionism is truly infinite. For example, in what ways have you already played?