A matter of instincts Previously, in the last 130 years… A bit of literature Birth of an error The Sexual Revolution
What it’s all about
Reclaiming sensuality SSC – The rule behind the madness Collaboration, not competition The torturer’s ehtics Safeword HNH Just like jazz A guide to extreme eroticism
The world of BDSM
The good, the bad and the kinky A portrait of the kinkster as a young person Taking a side. Or maybe not The wrong kind of BDSM Cognitive dissonances Understanding others Psychiatry The law The Scene The Church Understanding oneself Fearing of the Shadows Setting clear goals Making yourself understood No problems, no flags A Bdsm world
Between porn and philosophy: extreme sex
Neither tantra nor boredom Sin duende no hay pasiòn The right approach Extreme, yet safe In brief
Tonight we improvise Doctor and patient Teacher and student Sergeant and recruit Client and whore Cop and robber Priest and sinner A special role: cross-dressing Unsustainable ideal The backdoor to BDSM Playmates Disciplinary academies Gorean festivals Feminization schools Boot camps
Fetish and fetishisms
Few principles for lots of fantasies Aesthetics The materials The mask Second skin The cleaner, the blacker! Leather care Suede Disinfection Latex care How to wear it How to take it off How to clean it How to store it How to fix it Fetishisms The cherries on the cake The thousand faces of sex Body parts Clothing Uniforms Objects Antisocial fetishisms
Kinky superstars Who is serving who? The contract Living erotically The masochist nirvana Everyone in their place – Humiliation Dolls and animals Welcome to the zoo On thin ice Teasing and denial – The power of abstinence Mindfucking The rape The serial killer Hanging by a thread Strict discipline Rewards and punishments BDSM, not abuse
Love ties – bondage
All-round aesthetics Like not-so-ascetic gurus When plain will is not enough Bondage à la mode A thousand ways of binding Machinae constrictoriae Other instruments Basic techniques Safe wrist and ankle bondage Chest bondage Pelvis bondage Hogtie Suspensions A variation: sub-bondage When the game gets tough… SSC! The emergency exit Keep it circulating Unwanted compressions Bruises and abrasions Hypopnea Avoid at all costs
Sensory deprivation Isolation and bondage Flesh sculptures: objectification Interior design 101 At the furniture expo Kinbaku: bondage, the Japanese way The principles of kinbaku The shiatsu myth Basic techniques Munenawa Matanawa Hishi Self-bondage Talking about accidents Genital bondage The dominant’s best friend Mixing sacred and profane Chastity belts Extreme bondage The frontiers of bondage Vacuum Inclusion Mental bondage
From spanking to whipping
Spanking Psychological and physiological factors Endorphins – The masochist’s secret The art of spanking Getting in tune Setting up the scene Raising the heat of skin and passions Landings and derailments More games, more toys Household implements The tools of the trade The other 90% The whipping atlas Uncharted erogenous zone BDSM first aid The torture garden – vegetal instruments Fresh rods Cured rods Caning – pain the English way Caning technique Responsible whipping Crops and quirts Floggers, scourges and cats The art of flogging Hip cats Marks Whips Whip anatomy How to use a whip Whip care and maintainance Equestrian whips
The torture chamber
The old story of quality vs. quantity A short course for torturers Just like a Boy Scout, or a very good surgeon Work tools Pressure and stretching Skin to skin Hands on Press, pull, bite, clamp… Penetration and dilation Anatomy for invaders Hand play Lubricants Fisting Other dilations O’s misunderstaning Strap-on dildos Speculum, sounds and oddities Heat and cold – Thermal tortures Fire play and sideshow tricks Chemicals Granny’s tortures Stings and abrasions Lots of little pinpricks Fuck political correctness Nature is our friend Abrasions Electricity How to get electrocuted like a pro Batteries not included
Playing doctor: clinical games
The power of the white coat Enemas The instruments The liquids Salt, soap, fruit juice… “Assume your position…” Retention and evacuation Getting back on your feet Unusual variants Catheterization Sounding Open with caution Suction Cupping Pumping Infusions Materials and technique Temporary piercings Needles and preparation How and where to pierce Removing theneedles Sutures
Body modification: permanent marks
Urban shamans Slaves at first sight Permanent piercings The piercing atlas Male genitals Female genitals Brandings Fire, ice, chemicals, electricity… Cutting and scarification The hyper-sexual body Penis modifications
Beyond the ultimate taboo
A matter of History A matter of symbols From Discovery Channel to sainthood The practices Exhibitionism Control Worship Contact A matter of health Ever more extreme
Living for BDSM: 24/7
Old-fashioned marriage Between ideals and reality A privileged experience When the going gets tough Unleashing the mind Threesomes, cuckoos and babies The 25th hour Psychological dependencies Financial and legal issues
A necessary evil, or…? How to sell your hide dearly (and leather, latex, whips…) The perfect sadist Improvised dominatrixes At the torture boutique Fantasy knows no limits Special relationships When presence is optional The phone-domme The cyber-domina Financial domination
Let’s go shopping: BDSM stores
Online shops… …and real ones Goth, punk & glam Fetish shops Specialized stores Some addresses The alternatives The DIY of S&M Nipple clamps Humbler Custom dildos The BDSM travel kit
Seeking, meeting, playing: where are the others?
Finding your partner For those already partnered For singles Meeting opportunities Munches and happy hours Seminars and workshops Private dinners Parties Fake parties Fetish parties BDSM events Dress code – when a frock does not a priest make Flag – The hanky code And once inside… what happens? Special exceptions BDSM clubs Secret societies BDSM holidays A world of opportunities Personals jargon How to choose an ad (and how to respond to it) The meeting
BDSM and the Internet
Informed surfing Online pornography Copyrights, pedophilia and other ugly stuff What else is there online? Educational websites Communities Local groups The star system in the chicken coop Personal websites A brief manual for virtual exhibitionists Forums Chatrooms Cybersex and webcams Charting the course
Parisian brothel owner Marguerite Gourdan invented the consolateur (the first known ejaculating dildo) in the 1740s. When she died, thousands of yet-unfulfilled orders for such sex toys were found in her office, a large part of which by nuns.
Borneman - Lexikon der Liebe und Erotik
Improve your life now!
Online or downloadable
Click to visit
OF INEXPLICABLE MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF SEXUALITY
I'm glad you like this article. This website contains many more - as well as books, podcasts and videos, helpful for enjoying unusual sexualities in a more conscious, ethical and fun way.
However, if you are struggling in this area right now, remember that as a coach I can help you achieve the happiness you deserve. My experience is at your service to work out together the most effective way to overcome any difficulty.